Taking every step (or lack therof) in obedience.

"my sunshine"

The last month or so... I've had this indescribable feeling inside of me. Today... this emotion became expressible.

We are just waiting on the Lord with this insane peace? It's like... when you ask your parents for something.. and you know they have it stored up for you... but you don't know exactly what it is.. or if they'll give it to you for your birthday, or Christmas... or an anniversary... You just know it's good... and your excited.

We just know that God has a really cool plan for Matt and I... but every time we take a step or two in what we think is the right direction, that door gets slammed. Which is exactly what we pray for... but it's just a really bazarre feeling to entirely trust God with our future, knowing that we have all these "plans" for ourselves... what we want... when we want it... why we want it. But as bad as we want these things.. that desire doesn't even compare to our desire for God's perfect blueprint for our lives.

Waiting is painful for me sometimes... but I will worship while I wait.

While I'm waiting...

I am waiting.
Waiting on You Lord.
And I am hopeful.
I'm waiting on you Lord.
Though it is painful.
But paitentially I will wait.

I will move ahead bold and confident.
Taking every step in obedience.

<chorus>:
While I'm waiting,
I will serve you.
While I'm waiting,
I will worship.
While I'm waiting,
I will not fade.
I'll be running the race,
Even while I wait.

I'm waiting,
I'm waiting on you Lord.
And I am peaceful.
I'm waiting on you Lord.
Though it's not easy.
But faithfully I will wait.
YES I WILL WAIT.

And I will move ahead bold and confident.
Taking every step in obedience.

<chorus>

I will move ahead bold and confident.
I will be taking EVERY step in obedience!!

<chorus>

I will serve you while I'm waiting.
I will worship while I'm waiting.
I will serve you while I'm waiting.
I will worship while I'm waiting.
I will serve you while I'm waiting.
I will worship I'm waiting on you, Lord!

This has been the 'story of my life' this past year.. or two? I am so greatful for the life God has blessed me with. Seriously, my mom and sister are my heart. I have the most amazing friends and family... truely. Our church has blessed me in more ways than I can put into words. Matt and I are so happy with our place of employment... and ahhh .... Matt. He's mylifesaver. He's my husband.... and he's very very good at that. :) I'm just so blessed... what more could a girl want?!

Actually.. My heart wants babies. I'm only 23, and I know that I could wait like 10 more years to start having kids... but I don't wanna. I'm ready to grow our little family.

I have always told Matt that when we get a bigger house, I can get a bigger belly. And since I've said that for 3 years.. I'm sort of stuck on it to be honest. The only problem... we can't get out from under this house. We bought it right after Ivan and owe more on it than it's worth.

A little less than a month ago, Matt was at work, and I was praying. I have always wanted God's will for my life... but that time it was different. I told God that I truely wanted what He had planned for Matt and I.... and if that meant staying in our little townhouse for the next 20 years and having a family here... that's what I wanted. It was the first time that I was ever able to say that and mean it from the bottom of my heart.

The next day Matt and I were on our way to Saraland to see his family, and I got a phone call from my sweet Lindsay. She said, "So, I think I found a buyer for your house.....". What?! I didn't even know what to think. Our house wasn't even on the market to sell.

Long story short, these 'snow-birds' from Virginia (?) saw the house 2 doors down and loved it, but the owners took it off the market before they could buy it. Their realtor overheard Lindsay talking to my Momma about us eventually trying to sell or rent our house, called her buyers, and they were very interested in seeing our house!?

So we sent them pictures of the house, and heard that they loved it and wanted to see it in person. They are coming to Pensacola in 2 weeks. It's between our house and one other one. Man, am I hoping they like ours. :)

It's just hard sometimes not knowing what God's will is, but knowing you want it. I know that with all this excitment, God's not caught off-guard. He knows exactly what is going on, even when I don't get it. He is truely in control, and knowing that gives me a peace like no other. I'm just waiting. Waiting on God's timing. Waiting on His permission to make a move. Until I hear a clear word from the Lord... I will be right here, in our beautiful little town house... with my wonderful boys (Matt and Baxter.. ha.)... just wondering when it will be our time to start a family of our own.

Man.. my heart is there... and the Bible promises that God sees the desires of our hearts.

Thank you God for having my best in mind.